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Postcards From A Collector: The Presents of Plastics

by Sal Rodriguez

Hell yes I give action figures as gifts.

My girlfriend used to argue with me, “Not everyone collects action figures.” Then I gave her an Albert Einstein figure and she STFU. Just yesterday, she asked, “Who’s that?” “Martin Luther King Jr.,” I answered. “They made an MLK figure?!” “Yes they did.” “I want one on my desk,” she responded. Just wait 'til they make a Gandhi figure! Oh wait, they’ve already made one…

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I’m not trying to turn anyone into a collector. In fact, I discourage collecting. I consider it a ‘chasing the dragon’ type of lifestyle. But I do believe that everyone has at least one type of action figure, or figurine, they would like to own. I would be shocked if anyone I’ve given a figure to has regifted it, taken it to Goodwill, or sold it at a garage sale.

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Before I even considered myself a figure collector, I got my theater actress friend a Shakespeare figure, from the makers of the Einstein figure – Archie McPhee. A few years later I got a Sigmund Freud figure for another friend, who had just begun her career as a psychotherapist. Recently, I got my evolution-espousing friend a Charles Darwin figurine set. Archie, you’re making gift-buying way too easy now.

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An old friend dropped by one evening. He began to talk about his love of Egypt. He said he believed he was an ancient Egyptian in a previous life. I reached into a display cabinet and pulled out a DC Golden Pharaoh action figure and gave it to him. How could I not? I’ll never forget his appreciation and gratitude. He almost cried. Me too!

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My brother-in-law built-up the exterior of his glassworks factory to look like an old western town. He and his buddies even have barbecues while dressed as cowboys! I gave him the Lone Ranger and Tonto figures, made by NECA. And they just so happen to be in perfect scale with a hand carved, wooden stagecoach that he had in his art room! My childhood friend, and former roommate, is a big Nirvana fan. I got him a Kurt Cobain figure, also by NECA.

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For my sister, the artist and calligrapher, she was given The Artist Collection – featuring little figurines in the likenesses of artists Kahlo, Dali, Picasso, van Gogh, and Warhol. These cute and tiny things were made by Jail Break Toys, makers of the Gandhi figurine. When my friend, the rapper and former hip-hop dancer, was in the hospital for a brain tumor, I got him RUN-DMC figures by Super Stars. He passed-away shortly thereafter. I always wondered what became of those figures. I wish I had them now.

Hell yes I give action figures as gifts.

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