When asked to write something Valentine’s Day-related, my inner Cupid looked no further than Mattel’s DC Universe Classics Harley Quinn & The Joker two-pack, called MAD LOVE. They’re the only comic book character figure set that is pre-posed into dancing form within its own packaging. Ah love…MAD LOVE!
And like love itself, this set mocks me. You see, I’m an Opener. Meaning, not a Mint-on-Card collector. I (carefully) rip open plastic and liberate figures. But this one, it dares me to cut into their revelry! The Joker is leading Harley Quinn by her raised left arm, with his right arm around her waist, either beginning a spin or ending one. They’re surrounded by props and weapons as though the items are shrapnel of their exploding passion! Harley’s gun, with a cork in the barrel, her wooden mallet, and The Joker’s sledgehammer, his cane, fish, and deck of cards, orbit the couple’s whirlwind of a romance.
I recall getting lucky with this set, the last one remaining on the shelf, on clearance for $14.99. This was not getting passed me! I scanned it and re-scanned it just to make sure. Yep, $14.99. Of course, my instinct was to open it right away. But then I thought, “Just wait a bit. Maybe you can do a video review later.” That was about four years ago. And now it taunts me, with both Joker & Harley laughing, not with me, but at me. “So much for opening your figures. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” It’s like I have no choice in the matter. The collector is now the collected!
Maybe I can recreate their dancing pose? But even if I could, what about their weapons and gags? The Joker & Harley have their two left hands occupied. Maybe, just maybe, I could put something in their right hands. His cane? Her mallet? But what about the cards? And what about the fish?! It’s MADDENING! My girlfriend and I haven’t even discussed Valentine’s Day, meanwhile Joker & Harley have it year-round! I envy the chemistry between two fictional characters brought into plastic toy form. I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE!
But I digress…opening this package would be like putting a wedge between them; driving a stake through the heart of their union. Who am I to do such a thing? I’m no wet blanket. I’m no cock-blocker! Live and let live I always say! I bet Harley doesn’t check her phone during quaint lunches with Joker. I bet Joker flosses those pearly whites before bedtime with Harley. Their love is real! They're dancing! Meanwhile my girlfriend and I commune at Yogurtland and Costco. But I’m not bitter. And I’m not opening this package. Not now. Maybe I’ll do a video review later. Until then, wishing you all MAD LOVE on Valentine's Day!
Sal Rodriguez pounds the pavement in Los Angeles as an actor, comedian, and writer. He began collecting figures upon discovering UFC and WWE figures by Jakks Pacific. He lives with his two cats, Fluff Daddy and Little Mister, and over 2,000 action figures. Subscribe to his YouTube channel.