Westeros Weekly - K.L.N.N.
Written & Directed
by Michael Paul
Co-Written by T.J. Rhoads
Section 1 -The Realm Reviewed
by Meera (S5E3)
Meera's raging rant -
The third episode of season five has come and gone and there are a few good things to say. But first...
I'm so disappointed in the House of Black and White. There aren't thirty statues of all the different Gods, there aren't even ten. Arya Stark's story is meandering along because the writers have left the books behind. And speaking of the writers, this week D.B. Weiss said that Arya didn't want to give up Needle because it was a symbol of vengeance. WRONG!
"Needle was Robb and Bran and Rickon. Needle was her mother and her father. Needle was Winterfell and the summer snows and Old Nans stories. Needle was Jon Snow's smile." - ASOIAF
Arya wanted her sword because Jon gave it to her, because it came from home.
Now to the Good stuff!........
● Pod and Brienne had a shining moment that almost made me forget that this whole storyline has replaced Lady Stoneheart and the Brotherhood without Banners. Pod tells how he came into Tyrion's service, a canon story. Brienne's story about Renly, a tale of chivalry, honor, and her dream of the knighthood she craves is truly touching.
● Petyr's warning to Sansa about the lack of justice in the world seems fitting, since he is abandoning her to Ramsey Bolton. So I guess Sansa is the instrument of revenge against the Boltons. Where are the northern lords who should be attending her wedding? Oh, right. Ramsey is flaying them.
● Lord Janos Slynt got what he deserved, after refusing to obey the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. Jon Snow took his head and made a statement about how things were going to be done under his command. (More in section 3) Why is Ollie his steward? Must be a Hallmark moment.
● A High Sparrow and a High Septon? The sparrows are an old order of the church, and if Cersei doesn't read some history, she is going to be in big trouble.
* Footnote - this rumour that the High Sparrow is Lord Howland Reed is nonsense. We worship the old gods.
● Tyrion finally got out of the box and what a wonderful rendering of the city of Volantis! The marketplace had everything but the white dwarf elephants in the books. The priestess who saw Tyrion across the fire was wonderfully reminiscent of Melisandre. I wonder what will happen to Varys now?
- Meera Reed
(See Lucifer's rebuttal in section 4)
Section 2 - Crafting Westeros
From The Maester's scrolls -
Our latest feature comes to us from Matty James, his customized action figure of Night's King is a frosty handcrafted item of collectability. Let's explore some of the lore behind the legend to this cold blooded creation.
An illustration of Night's King with his blue eyed Queen and minions including Cold Hands
According to the fable, Night's King is known to many Northerners and Free Folk to be the 13th Night's Watch Lord Commander that was driven out of Nightfort by the combined efforts of both the the Wildlings and House Stark many generations ago. It's believed that he found a White Walker female and became enthralled by the elusive dark magic behind the undead snow zombies. Naming himself Night's King, he performed perverse rituals and brutal sacrifices harnessing more and more dark magic.
"We Free Folk have our stories, too. About how one of your King Crows found something ... cold in the woods, with bright blue eyes. How he brought her home through your Wall and declared him self Night's King" - Ygritte
Left - customized toy
Right - Richard Brake on green screen sound stage
Matty's action figure is comprised of several Legacy Collection pieces from both Game of Thrones and Magic with a hand carved cuirass and head piece. The Night's King head painting took him several shades of blue and white to achieve the final coloring. I honestly have to say, this is a very innovative customized toy, not an exact match but extremely creative. I give his ingenuity a frozen solid 8 out of 10 swords - ⚔⚔⚔⚔
- The Old Maester
Section 3 - Hall of the Dead/the Westeros Obituaries
Visit the Hall of the Dead. Pay your respects to the fallen of Season 5. These are the men and women who have gone to meet their gods.
• Valar Morghulis -
Archived Deaths
S5E1
* White Rat a.k.a. Stalwart Shield (Marcos James)
Unsullied, murdered by Sons of the Harpy Agent, throat cut in a brothel.
* Mance Rayder (Ciar'an Hinds)
King in the North, former Ranger of 997th Night'Watch. Defected and formed an alliance with the Wildlings, thereafter called the King beyond the Wall, uniting the free folk in an assault on Castle Black. Taken prisoner by Stannis Baratheon and sentenced to death, killed out of mercy by an arrow in the chest from Jon Snow.
S5E2
* Sons of the Harpy agent (Uncredited)
A faction focused on defying Daenerys' conquering of Meereen. Jailed by Daenerys, murdered by Mossador.
* Mossador (Reese Noi)
Former slave of Meereen's Great Masters and freedmen Small Counsel member. Sentenced to death by Daenerys, a beheading carried out by Daario Naharis in a live execution.
Recent Deaths
S5E3
* Braavosi peasant (Uncredited)
Sick and troubled, gifted by death in The House of Black and White
* Janos Slynt (Dominic Carter)
Commander of the City Watch and Lord of Harrenhal under the reign of Joffrey Lannister, dismissed and sent to The Wall for taking bribes and betraying the king's heir by Tyrion Lannister, beheaded for insubordination by Lord Commander Jon Snow at Castle Black.
"And now his Watch is ended"
Total S5 deaths to date = 06
• Valar Dohaeris -
Section 4 - Lucifer Lang's lecture
In response to Meera's Review -
I believe Varys has orchestrated every step for Tyrion's path to Meereen.... even Jorah kidnapping him. I also don't see why Sansa can't just tell everyone in Winterfell right now to "get the F@&K out"!
It's her families castle rite?..... The North Remembers!
I do agree Cersei is treading in deep dark waters, she basically just gave the Faith Militant a wake up call and possibly a "free hall-pass" for some very troubling events yet to come. Lots of story plots have changed and been revamped, here's my take on the matter -
A Broader Scope
Do you truly want things to happen word for word exactly like you read it? I think an alternate timeline or sequence of events can be both refreshing if applied correctly and dismal if not.
That said, I completely understand loving a character in an original story and being upset that they were overlooked or omitted from the new incarnation. This is an unfortunate side effect of transitioning a story from paper to film but the judgement should be in how effective it is to the bigger picture not how "they killed this guy later in the books" or "these two never crossed paths originally".
The fantasy world of Game Of Thrones and the published works of G.R.R.M. is at a point where it's gained enough momentum to live forever. That means it will be around long after he retires & dies. I expect George R.R. Martin will be held in the same regards as Gene Roddenberry when he passes, but in the world of fantasy instead of science fiction. Gene's creation, Star Trek has moved far beyond any thing he ever imagined since his death. Just think of where Westeros will be then, better or worse?
It is easy to see Game Of Thrones already has a clear divide between traditionalist and "book burners" just like Star Wars fans of old vs new. I would rather see all of us unite as one and push forward.
...Let's Pray to the Old Gods and the New, it develops into the utopia it can be.
- Lucifer Lang
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