Written & Directed by Michael Paul
Co-Written by T.J. Rhoades
Featuring Photos (statues) by TJ Norris
Section 1: The Realm Reviewed by Meera and Lucifer
Meera's Raging Rant - S5E4
Season 5: Episode 4 was overflowing with death and malicious acts of both a blunt and subtle nature. Things are getting ugly and the death tally is rising.
The inevitable downfall of Cersei Lannister is beginning to take shape as she removes all the counselors who gainsay her rule. Lord Tywin said it last season, "A wise king knows when to listen to his council." Cersei stood by and heard that lecture, but she was too busy making rude faces to gain anything from it. Now, in order to spite Margaery, she sent Lord Mace Tyrell off to Braavos to explain to the bankers why the Lannisters no longer pay their debts.
Another history lesson kids, the Iron Bank of Braavos raises armies to collect it's debts. Kingdoms rise and fall based on who backs their treasuries. And now, this business of the Faith Militant. An ancient order, who does indeed take over the septs and the Seven Gods in ASOIAF. but, they are not this medieval homophobic godblind mob. Imprisonment, prayer, confession, and punishment. That's their code. Sinners, beware!
Aegon Targaryen fought to disarm the Faith militant for years upon years, he almost lost the Throne to the The Seven's Soldiers of purity.
King Stannis and his poor, sad daughter, Shireen... Perhaps the only person he shows any tenderness towards? His wife is a fanatic, his men follow him only because he may give them lands and gold, and his red priestess has abandoned him for the Lord Commander.
Yet there is Shireen, scarred and fearless, refusing his red god, and he loves her. Melisandre had a go at the Lord Commander this week...
MEL- "Hey, my boobs are like handwarmers, let's make a shadowbaby." JON- "Uh, no. There's Stannis and my vow and I love my dead girlfriend." MEL-"Love is overrated, it's just like eating large quantities of chocolate." JON-"You're the Devil, what's chocolate? " MEL-"You know nothing Jon Snow."
* Thanks to @998LC_Snow for the shadowbabies!
Petyr's new great advice is for Sansa to "Take Ramsey and make him yours." As if he is capable of love. This is the man who hunts down the women he beds with hounds, and names his new dogs after the girls who gave him the best sport.
The crypts of Winterfell are a good place for a history lesson. Walk among the dead and they'll speak to you. But Petyr is speaking Barristan Selmy's words, a story he told Daeny to pass the time, a story about her brother Rhaegar and the tourney at Lord Whent's castle. Meera told this story also, to Bran, but she told about the Mystery Knight, a little Craggnomen who was saved by a She-Wolf. It's a sad story no matter how it's told.
The new and improved mighty fighting Sand Snakes are preparing for the ultimate showdown in the desert, Dorne vs the littlest Lannister.
A #GOFN pun - Mighty Fighting Sand Snakes each come with removable weapons... by RevengeCo.
Ser Barristan Selmy shares another tale of Rhaegar Targaryen, Daeny's brother. In the 5th book and the upcoming 6th book, the Winds of Winter, he is a POV character. So it was no surprise that this week he died for no reason, in a scene that served no purpose in the plot. He fought bravely, as always. He will be greatly missed. (Read more about Ser Barristan in section 3) - Meera Reed
Lucifer Lang's Response -
How can Cersei NOT realize she's digging her own grave? In their eyes charging her with incest is only a step of two away from apprehending Loras Tyrell for homosexuality. Lancel did refer to their correspondences as "un-natural"... Her final stab at the new Queen is actually a sword at her own throat. Many rumors and threads have been circulating about how Ramsey does something very outrageous in an upcoming episode. The question at this point is - knowing Ramsey, is this just something so vile and disgusting it was hard to act out? Or, is it something completely out of character for him?... As in, Sansa is taking Petyr's advice to heart and enthralling him with the "ways of a woman'?
Keep in mind this is not an imposter Arya Stark, this is a true blood heir of the North, that story line is completely gone now. Plus.. How will Lord Bolton react when he receives that letter from Jon Snow? He sent the Goat to Castle Black to find the rest of the Stark Males and kill them, will he get an invitation to the Wedding?
Speaking of Jon, the Red Woman didn't stand a chance with the Lord Commander. Yes, it's near impossible for a man to resist a free tittie grab but Jon's rationale on love is nothing but honorable. As I have mentioned before, Jon might not be Ned's son but he has more of Ned in him than Robb ever did! ... Strange how Lyanna's history with Rhaegar was shown in the preview plus directly and indirectly mentioned twice this episode. Unfortunately, with the death of Ser Barristan, the circle of people that know truths behind Robert's War is getting smaller and smaller. - Lucifer Lang
Section 2 - Collecting Westeros -- D.H.D. Special Edition --
From the Maester's Scrolls...
Game of Thrones merchandise is truly one of a kind stuff not only because the Realm is unique but also because of the various manufactures involved. Clothing, artwork, jewelry and cosplay items warrant a hefty portion of our fan money but a big crown will always be worn in the market of toys and games.
Some collectable toys don't need full articulation, multiple accessories or variant exclusives, they only need to be what they are... INCREDIBLE! That can mean a special place in your heart, an iconic scene or just pure interest and fandom. The collectables I'm about to show you now are all of those plus more.
If you remember issue #1 of Westeros Weekly, you should recall me covering Dark Horse Deluxe Arya Stark. Dark Horse together with Gentle Giant know how to make an item very collectable and desirable. D.H.D. shows true craftsmanship when it comes to toy making. All the actors and actresses portraying the characters had to approve of the sculptures plus a final sign off from HBO as well. Great care is taken in every detail of not only the costumery and accessories, but in refined likenesses.
Surprisingly well priced, these figures are only a few bucks more than Legacy Collection and appear to be generally more expensive. I remember the first time I came across one I was astonished it cost me under $25! At first look, you would expect the price tag to say somewhere between $35 to $40 but no, it's about $10 - $12 cheaper than that on average.
I almost felt like I was hustling the dealer for a $10 discount but I got over that pretty quick once I had it in my possession. I enjoy producing this article every week but this installment is truly special, please enjoy these photographs taken by #GOFN's one and only TJ Norris.
Cersei Lannister
"Everyone who isn't us is an enemy"
Birth Place: Casterly Rock
Lineage: House Lannister
Titles: Queen & Queen Regent
Daenerys Targaryen
"Yes, all men must die... But we are not men"
Birth Place: Kings Landing
Lineage: House Targaryen
Titles: Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi and Mhysa
Bottom Image: alongside Funko Legacy figure (size comparison only)
Jon Snow
"Edd, fetch me a block!"
Birth Place: unknown (possibly Kings Landing)
Lineage: House Stark
Titles: the Bastard of Winterfell & Lord Commander of the 998th Night's Watch
Khal Drogo
"You are no ‘King'!"
Birth Place: Dothraki Grasslands
Lineage: Drogo son of Bharbo
Titles: The Great Rider & Khal
The Iron Throne
"He spoke truly, it is a monstrous uncomfortable chair, in more ways than one." - Robert Baratheon
Origin: built and occupied by rulers of the Andals and the First Men
Location: Kings Landing inside of the Great Hall in the Red Keep
Tyrion Lannister
"You just sent the most powerful man in Westeros to bed without his supper!"
Birth Place: Casterly Rock
Lineage: House Lannister
Titles: the Imp, Demon Monkey, acting Hand of the King & Master of Coin
This Dark Horse Comics toy making subsidiary has made some of the best solid cast figures I've come across in the collecting community. With Game of Thrones being on the top of the list, I can not put it into any other words for a collector then "These are a quintessential purchase, go get yours today!" Check our Dark Horse's Shop here! You can also find these here.
Section 3 - Hall of the Dead/the Westeros Obituaries (Special Edition)
Has The Queensguard fallen? Visit the Hall of the Dead. Pay your respects to the fallen of Season 5. This is a very special edition Hall of the Dead with several violent Deaths and also some undetermined ones... The truth is, we can not give you a definitive number this week so an estimate is the best we can do until further information is given. Please show your respect for these are the men and women who have gone to meet their gods.
* Point of view character
^ Supporting role/extra
- Valar Morghulis -
S5E1 - S5E3
* White Rat
* Mance Rayder
^ Sons of the Harpy agent
* Mossador
^ Braavosi peasant
* Janos Slynt
S5E4
^ Brothel Patron
With The Faith Militant reinstated, Lancel Lannister was shown with a knife preparing to attack a customer. This is just 1 of many unconfirmed deaths this week.
^ 4 Dornish Knights
Killed in a skirmish patrolling the Dornish coast from Ser Jamie Lannister and Ser Bronn of the Blackwater.
^ Sea Captain
Killed by Nym from a spear to the head while buried in the sand for smuggling Jamie Lannister into Dornish Waters.
^ 10 - 12 Unsullied Soldiers
Fiercely trained fighters known for their lack of fear and feelings. Also killed in the Streets of Meereen from Sons of the Harpy.
^ 16 - 24 Sons of the Harpy
Killed by Grey Worm, Ser Barristan and company while attacking them in the ghettos of Meereen.
^ 3 - 5 Second Sons
Gold seeking Sellsswords & Calvary under the command of Daario Naharis. Killed near a Brothel in Meereen by Sons of the Harpy as well
* Grey Worm ?
Grey Worm does not know his families linage or name due to a life of servitude. Trained in Slavers Bay by the Great Masters since a young child then voted as Commander of the Unsullied under The reign of Daenerys Targaryen. An extremely focused and dedicated warrior with unwavering loyality. He was severely wounded in the ambush attack by the Sons of the Harpy. It is unclear at this point whether or not he is dead.
* Ser Barristan Selmy a.k.a. Arstan Whitebeard
Born in 237AC and named Barristan the Bold at age 10, he was former Lord Commander of the Kingsguard having served 4 Kings and 1 Queen under both the House Targaryen and House Baratheon Dynasties. Exiled by King Joffrey and Queen Regent Cersei, he revived his original oath to House Targaryen by traveling across the Narrow Sea and finding Daenerys.
He then later discovered and revealed Ser Jorah's imperial pardon and became leader of the Queensguard.
He fought valiantly and fell with sword in hand from an ambush in Meereen by a Sons of the Harpy contingent. Ser Barristan gave Daenerys wise counsel and loyal protection as any faithful Sworn Sword should do. A superior warrior from a time when the Kingsguard had some of the most revered Knights in all of Westeros. His honor, duty and skill will now be that of lore and legend for the histories of the Realm.
Total deaths for Season 5 so far...
Grand total estimated: 42 - 50
P.O.V. total presumed: 06
- Valar Dohaeris -
CHEERS: As a final respect to Ser Barristan & Grey Worm plus the other fallen Unsullied and Second Sons, Westeros Weekly raises a Toast for all the brave men of the Queensguard!
Glasses by Dark Horse Comics/HBO
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