SECTION 1 - The Realm Reviewed
by Meera and Lucifer (S5E6)
Lucifer- Season 5 Episode 6 is now in the archives, it's time to talk about it! Meera, what are your thoughts on Tyrion and Jorah this week?
Meera- Ser Jorah and Tyrion have become bosom buddies on their desert island, after their impossible trip through the Smoking Sea and the sunken volcanic ruins of Valyria. Ser Jorah has greyscale, and he's inflicted with listening to Tyrion constantly going on about his plight, until a slip of the tongue reveals that Lord Jeor Mormont, Jorah's father, was murdered by his men.
So now, the two of them have something in common, both of them have tragically lost their fathers, and you can argue that Tyrion is a murderer, but all he ever wanted was love from his father, and he never got it. At that moment the two of them are equals, fatherless sons, with only each other to rely on.
Lucifer- Indeed a far cry from the original plot, yet still interesting. Mereen or bust, what ever it takes! Tyrion is a true master of negotiating his life when in the hands of captures, a skill not easily acquired.
Lucifer- Arya's story seems to be gaining some momentum now, what's your opinion?
Meera- Arya earned her way into the inner sanctum of the temple this week. She couldn't lie to anyone until she really needed to. She gave the gift of the Many-Faced-God to a child, one who was sick and in pain. None of her story so far has been good, or by the books, but if this gets us to Cat of the Canals, then Valar Dohaeris.
Lucifer- All men must serve indeed. The inner sanctum was quite a sight, now we get to see some the magic behind the ancient craft hopefully.
Lucifer- Well, how about the situation in Dorne? Jamie doesn't do well in jail, I can imagine Bronn would make friends fast though.
Meera- Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. For Oberyn? Oh brother! The Mighty Fighting Sand Snakes are back and mightier than ever!
Lucifer- Ha, not quite... You are being sarcastic right?
Meera- Yes, The failed attempt to kidnap Myrcella from the water gardens was really bad, especially the 70s style martial arts sequence, complete with cheesy film reversed jumps, Charlie's Angels style posing, action movie music, and wacky costumes.
Lucifer- I always expected Dorne to be a "Spain meets Morocco" kind of place, one of my biggest issues is when something does not appear the way I envisioned it from prior understanding. They got some of it right but definitely not all of it.
Meera- Dorne is the most ridiculous thing we've been subjected to so far, and sending Jamie and Bronn there makes it even worse. Oh, and that knife cut Bronn?... Probably poisoned. Yeah, goodbye Bronn.
Lucifer- I'm not even sure where to start with Cersei's dog and pony show ... This is why we worship the Old Gods, I never completely trust anyone who prays at a Sept or R'hllor, especially those in charge.
Meera- This trial by the Faith of Ser Loras Tyrell is an outrage. Who cares about a bit of pillow-bitting?
No one in the books, and no one who watches the show, that's for certain. When Finn Jones read his script for this season, he reportedly threw it across the room in disgust, and why not ? Ser Loras is the finest knight in Westeros, and a member of the Kingsguard, the youngest man to take the white except for The Kingslayer, but Weiss and Benioff have changed his character to a gay man, and then have him persecuted for the crime of being a homosexual... because the fans will love this?
Lucifer- I don't think the fans love it at all but I am shocked it isn't causing more of a fuss.
Meera- When anyone else goes after a gay character everyone is compelled to scream how unfair and wrong the show is..The writers of Game of Thrones changed Ser Loras so they could persecute him.
Lucifer- I completely agree, I never thought political correctness would be a factor for Game of Thrones but apparently I'm wrong.
Meera- We come at last to Winterfell and the strange triangle of Ransey, Sansa and Reek.
Lucifer- Man oh man, at least there was not any animals or inanimate objects involved ... EEK!
Meera- The godswood is the heart of Winterfell, the only part that is still the same. Sansa was married in the light of the Seven the first time, in a much different ceremony, the exchange of cloaks, and in the books, seven vows, seven blessings, her mother's gods.
When Theon comes for her, he looks old enough to be her father, but he's just a boy, the same age as Jon and Robb, he looks that way because of what Ramsey has done to him, and she has no idea what Ramsey can do, she's only seen a little of how crazy he is. Her wedding night is sad, though not as horrible as Arya/Jeyene in the books, her screams are bad, but Reek's tears as he's forced to watch are just as bad.
Alfie Allen is probably the best actor on this show. His portrayal of Theon Greyjoy and his descent into Reek under Ramsey Bolton's hands is the most fascinating performance I have ever seen. The once cocky lordling is gone, and this fearful thing who hobbles about because his toes have been lobbed off, and fears to make any offense to his lord, lest he lose another, or a finger, or a tooth, is captured so convincingly by Allen that you can almost smell him. Surely you can pity him. And if Reek somehow finds redemption in the end, I will be happy for him, he has earned it.
Lucifer- I can't say I would be happy for him in particular but I can agree he has served his penance. That's only because he didn't actually kill Bran and Rickon, now it's time to tell Sansa the truth, if he can manage to get her to listen.
For a minute or two I actually expected Sansa to cater to Ramsey's ego to stir things up but I'm insane for thinking that. What the hell is wrong with me? Her life is in Brienne's hands more than either of them realize, there's no way Reek will step up and protect Sansa, he's too whipped... Plus he has no balls, literally!
Plus think about this, Stannis is basically in Sansa's corner in an indirect manor right now and so is Brienne ... When everyone finally crosses paths in Winterfell, will Brienne hold her tongue or avenge Renly?
SECTION 2: Collecting Westeros
Jon Snow, Threezero and me ... A tale of temptation and acceptance -
From the Maester's Scrolls... Last Friday, Threezero Toys released their newest Game of Thrones figure! Who is it you ask? ...The one and only 998th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch Jon Snow with Ghost! If you're not yet familiar with Threezero, allow me to enlighten you.
The company -
Based out of Hong Kong, Threezero was founded by ThreeA co-owner Kim Fung Wong. The toy manufacturers started by producing 12 inch military inspired figures around 2000/2001 and then expanded their catalog to include designer vinyl toys. Some of the more well known sculptors and creators designing toys for them include Michael Lau, Elphonso Lam, and Jason Siu.
Referred to by some as Threezero's "2013 Reboot", it was at this time the company announced its licensed manufacturing project from titles such as Walking Dead and of course Game Of Thrones. This is when they became a true contender with the money spending masses. Although extremely high priced, these designer toys are widely sought after by serious collectors and beginners alike.
The toy -
This Jon Snow is just like any other with the Night's Watch outfit and his sword, the difference is his Direwolf Ghost, the dagger and the shear quality of the item it's self. Notice the facial likeness, it's virtually identical. And of course the actual furred cape, cloth materials incorporated into a vinyl is always a telltale sign of a quality toy. With every strap, buckle and button accounted for, it's pretty much an exact replica. Is a top shelf toy such as this worth the price?
I've spent ample amounts of money in the past for highly desired collectables - my The Death of Superman Comic, my original unopened Bespin fatigues Luke Skywalker & etc... but I never did see myself spending a few hundred dollars on a new figure. Now, don't get me wrong, I've been tempted more than once to buy the Tyrion or Ned at a con but now they have left me NO CHOICE!
The reality of it all -
If you can't tell already by reading our weekly column, Jon Snow is one of our favorite POV characters. So congratulations Threezero, you finally caught me hook, line & sinker! I knew the time would come to buy a Threezero toy eventually but I had no idea they would use one of my G.R.R.M. weaknesses to get me into the fold. Kudos Kim Fung Wong, kudos indeed!
Unfortunately, I do regret to inform you that I could not conduct an interview in true GOFN fashion with any of the designers, apparently getting them to write you back seems to be an act of Congress. I would like to give you more information on this toy but I simply cannot, I can only tell you that I want it, need it and must have it no matter what the cost.
In conclusion, Threezero is a team of vinyl designers on top of the world and can charge whatever price they see fit. They know serious geeks such as myself will eventually breakdown one day and submit to the desire. This is truly a love vs hate situation at its best for me and now that they have produced a Jon Snow. Threezero, you have finally won the battle for my money.
SECTION 3: The Hall of the Dead
Visit the Hall of the Dead. Pay your respects to the fallen of Season 5. These are the men and women who have gone to meet their gods.
* - Point of view character
^ - Supporting role/extra
Valar Morghulis -
S5E1 - S5E5
* White Rat
* Mance Rayder
^ Sons of the Harpy agent
* Mossador
^ Braavosi peasant
* Janos Slynt
^ Brothel Patron
^ 4 Dornish Knights
^ Sea Captain
^ 10 - 12 Unsullied
^ 16 - 24 Sons of the Harpy
^ 3 - 5 Second Sons
* Ser Barristan Selmy
^ Mereen Master
^ 3 - 5 Stonemen
S5E6
^ Young Braavosi female
Brought by her father, she was sick and dying. The man approached Arya and she gifted Death in the House of Black and White. This was Arya's chance to truly play the illusive "game of faces" for the first time, her lies were quick and effective resulting in her access to the next level of serving deity of death.
* Total deaths for Season 5 so far - (Grand total estimated) 50 - 56
(P.O.V. total) 05
Valar Dohaeris -