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Postcards From A Collector: Don’t Make Me Angry


I love Hulk. Always have. He’s not necessarily the hero I would want to be but more likely the hero I would be: Mr. Passive-Aggressive. If you wrong me now you’ll pay…later. He’s a shirtless mass of anger and tension. That’s me. Only I’m not going around shirtless anymore, considering I haven’t lifted weights in a while. Hulk represents most people – trying to contain the inner beast. And that might work…for a while.

This particular Hulk is my favorite Hulk. I love Icons Hulk but in the fun factor this Hulk wins. Of course I’m talking about 2003 Toy Biz 13” Movie Hulk. I would consider it a must for any Hulk fan. I have two. The first I bought on eBay for about $40. The second I bought at a garage sale for $3. The first is in a display cabinet with other Hulk figures. The second is hanging out in my living room. I don’t know what to do with him.

I love Hulk. Always have. When I was a kid my mother was going to have her make-up artist friend paint me green for Halloween. Glad that never happened. He turned out to be a molester. But I still love Hulk. I watched every Hulk TV show - the old ones - featuring a real person playing Hulk, not a computer image. Lou Ferrigno was his name, a former foe to Arnold Schwarzenegger, back in the 1970s bodybuilding era.

This Hulk reminds me of the 12” Mego Hulk figure from my childhood, complete with real cloth purple shorts. This is one of those figures that made me say “Wow” when I took him out of his packaging. It’s one of those figures that can be played-with as well as displayed. Any playful kid or any adult collector would appreciate this figure. He transcends the boundary separating “adult collectibles” from “toys.” He’s for everyone.

His teeth are white and straight. I envy his teeth. I want Hulk’s teeth! He doesn’t look fake or ridiculous. You know those Hulk figures, the ones that look too buff or too veiny? He’s not one of them. He looks like he could be real. He’s like a pro bodybuilder x2 - almost an attainable physique (with a bit of steroids). And his hair is green (with a tinge of black), but it’s green! And his eyes are hypnotic. He’s alive and he’ll smash all other figures!

What am I going to do with my second ToyBiz Hulk? I still haven’t compared him with the first. But one might have to go…eventually. Maybe one has better teeth. Maybe one has better shorts. Maybe one has a stain I haven’t noticed. Maybe I’ll take one to work and the other can stay home. He looks like he might float. Summer is coming. Maybe he’ll go to the beach! I don’t know. Sand might make him angry.

Sal Rodriguez pounds the pavement in Los Angeles as an actor, comedian, and writer. He began collecting figures upon discovering UFC and WWE figures by Jakks Pacific. He lives with his two cats, Fluff Daddy and Little Mister, and over 2,000 action figures. Subscribe to his YouTube channel.

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