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Honey They Shrunk My Han Solo


Presenting a Han Solo with Torture Rack action figure set from the Star Wars 30th Anniversary Coin Collectors series.

Happy post-Halloween! What better way to celebrate the macabre than with what is arguably the most horrific Star Wars action figures ever to be released. Seriously why would you buy your child a toy whose sole purpose is to celebrate the agony of Han Solo? I can imagine the gasps of horror that would come from a teacher if a kid showed up to school with this for “Show-and-Tell”. But then that’s why the Han Solo Torture rack is one of the figures at the forefront of the question “For whom should toys be made for: Kids? Or for the kids-at heart?” Clearly, this is an action figure meant for more adult collectors. This action-figure set was released in 2007 to commemorate the 1977 release of Star Wars: A New Hope. It came with a collector’s coin that was part of 60 coins that fans had to collect to place inside a special coin-collector’s book. Disney acquired Star Wars in 2012. I highly doubt if they would re-release this figure given Disney’s apparent thrust to corner a younger market.

The Torture Rack is actually a Bespin Mining Scan Grid. The Scan Grid emits electrical charges in order to analyse and gather data on mined metals. It was never meant to be used on humans, but then neither was the Carbon Freezing Technology that was also used on Han Solo – the Empire does a lot of improvisational experimentation.

The Star Wars 30th Anniversary Han Solo with Torture Rack’s blister card reads: “Han and his friends go to Bespin to escape the Empire, but Han’s friend Lando turns them over to their enemy, Darth Vader. Strapped to a rack, Han is tortured with no idea why, telling Leia afterwards “They never even asked me any questions.” This is because the Force augmented torture of Han Solo, Chewbacca (Tortured by sonics in his cell) and Princess Leia (Supposedly. It was mentioned in later novels but this is no longer canon) was done only so that their pain would reach and attract Luke Skywalker. And it did.

PROS

FIRST: Well. The imaginary screams of Han Solo does provide me with a certain glee. This really is a collector’s piece. You just want to move the articulated seat and imagine Han Solo being electrocuted – you can’t help it. And the Mining Scan Grid is finely made. It’s a bit top heavy though and tends to topple over.

SECOND: Han Solo’s contorted face. The pain is simply radiating off his face.

CONS

FIRST: The Mining Scan Grid while finely made and a fine representation of the one used in the movie, is not movie accurate. A lot of detail was sacrificed in the making of the torture rack.

SECOND: The Han Solo action figure. When you take the figure off the rack, it looks like the rack sucked so much life out of him that his legs shrunk. I guess that adds to the overall horror, but it really looks bad. My suggestion is: Don’t remove him from the rack so you won’t have to suffer the figure.

ARTICULATION:

  • Head is mounted on a ball joint on a neck hinge

  • Upper torso is mounted on a ball joint – so you can have him squirm in bondag

  • Ball jointed shoulders

  • Single direction elbows with swivel.

  • Rotating wrists

  • No waist swivel

  • Single direction legs

  • Ball jointed, single-direction knees

  • Boot/ankle swivel

BUYER/COLLECTORS RECOMMENDATION: This is seriously NOT a toy I recommend for children. BUT! It’s one of the best conversation pieces that you could possibly have! Aside from the nice debate on who toy-builders should build for that you can have, you can have tons of fun just making Han Solo scream! It’s waaaay better than having him scream silently while he’s encased in Carbonite.

The best part is that the Han Solo with Torture Rack will only set you back $9.95 plus shipping. It’s available HERE. Now if only we had a Bespin Playset that wasn’t made out of cardboard! Hey, while you are reading, why not Like us on Facebook!

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